Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
