Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
