so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
