me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
