6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
