eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
