Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ithinkimsober hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?

Fav 13 826 2338
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building

Fav 22 6437 1338
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

Fav 37 4057 1748
share tweet
(931): View more from Tennessee

EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?

Fav 15 4072 1365
share tweet
(239): View more from Florida

No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him

Fav 12 1698 2450
share tweet
(662): View more from Mississippi

Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

Fav 7 2647 929
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

Fav 10 985 1655
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?

Fav 1 546 368
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.

Fav 0 23 33
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT