i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize