someone threw a dead crab at me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
