My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
