You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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