You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
