Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
