My brain says no but my pants say off.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
