i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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