I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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