My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
