yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
