Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
