we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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