What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
