i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
