How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
