Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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