here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
