do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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