If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The Olympian is in my bed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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