Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
