I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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