Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
