I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize