I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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