if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
