Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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