you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
