nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
