well most of my day revolves around power hour
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
