Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
