omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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