Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
