FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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