Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
