drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize