it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
