just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
