M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
