he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
