9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
