There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dicks are not precious.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
