dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
