I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
