my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
