love makes seman taste better
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
