What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
