so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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