so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
