I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
