The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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