I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Randomize
