i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
