I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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