god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
